So i've been feeling like i have too much on my plate recently. Well, i always feel that way and i don't make it easier on myself, i'm still trying to learn how to say 'no' sometimes and have managed to reduce my workload somewhat. I finally had a melt down last week at work, poor Lisa had to put up with me being in tears and i just couldn't quite explain why or what i was feeling or what the solution to my tears could be. I'm always there for someone else, to help out, to share the load or to pick up the pieces. I often feel i'm the doer, the fixer, the one to be leaned on or relied on and most of the time don't mind being that person, but now and again it becomes a little too much and i get over tired, emotional and shitty.
I realise i've not been making enough time for myself. I've not made any time for yoga this year and it shows. Yoga has been great for me, it's taught me to be still for a while, to relax and clears my mind. Lack of it has seen my head constantly cluttered and i feel bleurgh. I find it difficult to go to a class since i've moved to the other side of the city. They're usual on at an inappropriate time and are pretty pricey. I'm going to get back into it by doing some at home.
I've not been giving myself time to sew much either. It's winter, it's dark when i get home, i'm tired and it's usually too late once the kids are in bed. This weekend i made the effort to get to the sewing machine and make up this quilt top. I'm really pleased that i've managed to get it finished. I just need to pick up another metre of Liberty from work so i can finish the back piece then i can start the hand quilting which i'm looking forward to, i find it very therapeutic. This is a very special quilt for my brother and his (almost) wife, they're getting married in September in Italy then will be having a big party back home (UK) in October which we are going over for. I wanted to give them something handmade, something from my heart and something that will stay with them for a very long time. A quilt was the perfect answer.
Not having any family here to lean on can be a trial sometimes, doing everything and being everything to everyone is draining, i like to put my all into everything i do and of course from time to time it's all going to come crashing down. But! i'm a glass half full kind of girl, i pick myself up, dust myself off and get on my way again with maybe a few changes to make life a little easier. We can't keep doing the same things every day, life changes, situations change, people in our lives change and we change, we have to change with them.
Now, i'm off to try and finish my TeaLeaves cardigan (which has been neglected the past few weeks) and watch a movie with the hubby.
